[00:00.000] 作词 : Momus[00:18.944]Once upon a time there was a man called Saul[00:21.159]Who persecuted Christians until he saw[00:23.785]The work was bearing fruit for the Christians[00:26.440]So the man changed his opinions and his Christian name to Paul[00:31.593]And he wrote important chapters in the Bible[00:34.425]But the blood on his writing hand reeked to high heaven[00:38.358]And Paul resolved to die[00:42.061]So he wrote to friends in Rome[00:43.913]A senator who owed him a favour[00:46.539]Asking for an executioner[00:48.951]So Paul could make his exit as a martyr[00:51.722]The senator sent this answer:[00:55.205]He said "Should you be so lucky like St Sebastian[01:00.802]Preferring the ache to the aspirin[01:03.691]Swooning as they shoot the arrows[01:06.288]Through your narrow chest[01:08.320]Stripping naked in the Circus Maximus[01:11.687]With a martyr-eating lioness[01:14.537]Bartering with flesh for a little pain[01:19.536]Scenes like this give sadomasochism a bad name"[01:44.053]Once there was a man who loved a woman too much[01:46.547]To give up hope when he saw she wouldn't touch him with a barge pole[01:50.146]He spent his whole life in the Inferno[01:52.717]He composed in thirty-four cantos[01:57.481]O Dante though I'm anti such romantic speculation[01:59.760]I'm your hypocrite reader in the same situation[02:02.511]I'm your double, oh me I'm your brother in pain[02:07.667]But Alighieri if you'll listen there's a difference[02:10.095]Between your Beatrice and my Paula[02:13.009]She's anonymous and now a waitress[02:15.973]- It's comic but not divine[02:19.155]The tragedy is no-one's dying![02:21.639]Should I be so lucky like St Sebastian[02:26.995]Going out with a bang, just hear me[02:30.625]Whimpering with joy as Mr Death receives his blue-eyed boy[02:38.253]Surrender unto Caesar or to God, it makes no odds[02:43.625]There's just one thing the martyr wants to say:[02:48.595]He says "Tell me, Mrs Lincoln, did you enjoy the play?"